my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
