I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
