also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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