trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize