Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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