Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
