Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
