Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
