It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
