I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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