Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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