If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
