are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
