As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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