He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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