Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
