Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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