i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
