you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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