You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
