Can i not drive my cunt home
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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