I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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