I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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