my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
