Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
