I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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