the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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