Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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