If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
