PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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