we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
