I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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