I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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