pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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