I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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