Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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