i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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