Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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