My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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