Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
