i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
