first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
