I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Holy shit dude........stairs
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