He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
