they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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