I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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