Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
