it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
