What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
