That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
