she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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