are you still at the devil's house?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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