Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize