xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
