She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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