Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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