I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize