clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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